The Barmaiden


7 notes

Two weeks (or (hopefully) less!) to go!

Reaching the point in pregnancy where my doctor has given me a ballpark induction date (just in case this baby is a little too comfortable where it’s at and thinks it can extend its stay) is making me so much more zen about the whole impending labor thing. I had been getting a bit anxious to get the whole thing over with and found myself complaining more to the husband lately. (And I really didn’t want to ever be one of those whiny pregnant women!) So now I’m determined to just relax and go with the flow. It’ll happen when it happens!

Of course, now that my hopes of having a May baby have been dashed to pieces by the arrival of June, I’ve decided that it would be nice if I could get just one (and only one!) more week of work in before it decides to make its debut. (Posting this totally means it’ll happen the way I want, right???)

9 notes

Wherein I rant about the things people say to pregnant women…

It turns out that once you’re within sight of your due date (mine is June 10th), the unsolicited advice and admonitions about how much life is going to change from family and friends gets kicked up about seventeen notches. Also, can we just quit with the labor and delivery horror stories already?

Here’s the thing. I planned this pregnancy. Thus may be my first kid, but that doesn’t mean that I’m walking into this with blinders on. Yes, I know it’s going to be hard. Yes, I know labor is going to suck. Yes, I know my life will change. I know that babies cry and keep you up at night and pee and poop a lot. I get it. Really. And can everyone please stop telling me this with that smug ‘you’re clearly delusional if you think you’re actually prepared for this’ tone. I’ve watched so many friends make the (successful, I might add) transition into parenthood that I do feel as though I’ve got at least a little bit of an idea about just how much my life is about to change, and my husband and I are actually looking forward to (most of) those changes.

It’s starting to get offensive, really. The husband and I are both to the point where we have been told so many times that life with kids is hard that we’re starting to think that people WANT us to be miserable and will be disappointed if we don’t fail miserably at this whole parenting thing. (We know this isn’t the case, but damn! People sure do seem to take pleasure in the discomfort of others!)

Take last night, for example. I’m hanging out with some friends and my parents and the topic turns to whether or not I’m going to have an epidural (everyone seems excessively curious about this - I blame my slightly crunchy granola ways) and at this point I have my answer pretty much down pat and everyone in the room has heard it at least once before. But I humor them and answer again. I explain that I tend to have bad reactions to pain medication (I’ve got a history of having them just plain not work at all (yes, even the really good stuff!) and I’m the person who tends to actually get the scary side effects of drugs on a semi-regular basis, so I’m hesitant to take, well, pretty much anything, ever) and that while I have no problem with getting an epidural, and most likely will end up having one, I would like to delay as long as possible. I explain that because of this fact, I intend to try to wait as long as possible to go to the hospital once labor starts (within reason, of course. I don’t want to have a baby on the side of the road or anything!), and that, as strange as it sounds, I’m really hoping that I go into labor while I’m working so that I have something to distract me (and to focus on) during the early stages of labor so that I don’t end up going to the hospital too early. (I work from home, otherwise I’m sure I would feel very differently about this!)

My mom’s reaction? A derisive ‘Yeah, right. You’re gonna panic and be a mess.’

The thing is, I’m not really a panicky person. In fact, most of my friends and family would agree that I’m the person you want to have around in a crisis because I am very good at staying calm in stressful or chaotic situations (especially a stressful situation that I’ve known was coming for oh, nine months or so!) You’d think my own mother would know that and give me a little bit of credit. Maybe even try to be reassuring about the whole thing? Offer some words of encouragement? Nah…it’s way more fun to try to scare the pregnant chick (and her husband)!

And people wonder why we keep saying that they will be lucky if we tell them when I go into labor and maybe we’ll just send out a mass ‘it’s a boy/girl’ text once it’s all over and the kid is here!

1 note

The only thing more depressing than shopping for swimsuits?

Shopping for maternity swimsuits. 


6 notes

Names are hard!

The husband and I have decided that we’re not going to share the names we’re thinking about until after the baby gets here, which is driving my family kind of nutty. (Bad enough that we’re not finding out if it’s a boy or a girl - we won’t tell them the name either? Outrage!)

But hey! We’ve just had too many good names ruined by ridiculous comments or judgements, so we’re keeping our mouths shut so that my hormones don’t cause me to eviscerate someone who dares speak ill of my name choice. Besides, we’re not planning on putting the kid’s name on the nursery wall or anything trendy like that, so we can keep on changing our minds until the very last second this way! (That, and my mom has already said on multiple occasions how much she dislikes one of our favorite names so I figure we CAN’T mention that one until there’s actually a grandkid with that name so that she realizes just how badass it really is!)

Anyway, it occurred to me that it would be really fun to tell every single person who asks a different ridiculous name (with a straight face, of course) just to watch the reactions. And now I’m suddenly looking forward to my niece’s birthday party this afternoon! (Even if it is raining!)

Suggestions welcome!

6 notes

Why doesn’t anyone tell you…

how weird it is when you’ve got a tiny human being growing inside you and suddenly it starts moving around and you can feel it? It’s like whatever I ate for dinner just woke up and started moving around down there. 

Oh, sure, some women think it’s beautiful and all that. I just think it’s weird and creepy. It’s even worse now than when it first started. The baby is big enough that my stomach actually moves with the kick. Sometimes there’ll be a big lump on one side or the other that is probably a butt or a head. I’m told that eventually I’ll be able to tell if it’s a foot or an elbow or whatnot.

And guys? Want to know what it feels like? Go to the pet store. Buy a goldfish. Hold the bag in your hands. You’ll be able to feel when the fish brushes the sides of the bag or pokes at it with it’s nose. So yeah, it’s like that. BUT INSIDE YOU! Now imagine that the goldfish keeps getting bigger but the bag stays the same size…(well, I guess it can get a bit bigger!) and tell me that thought doesn’t give you the heebie jeebies just a little bit!

10 notes

So this happened…

Is happening, I suppose, is the better way to describe it. 

Has been happening, really, since this particular image was taken over a month ago and the weird little reminders that this tracking app pops up on my iPhone screen are telling me today that I *only* have 16 more weeks to go. 

Anyway, if you remember what happened last time (spoiler alert: it sucked), well, this time we got lots of tests done and everything is normal. 

I’m still wrapping my brain around it. It seems alternately like a great idea and a terrible idea (sometimes both!) but the husband is SUPER excited (he loves babies), and I am excited for when it turns into a teenager and starts to understand sarcasm (the hubby is dreading that part). So, let’s see - what would you want to know… We’re not finding out if it’s a boy or a girl - both because we think it’ll be an awesome surprise and because it is quite literally driving my Mom CRAZY! (It’s also saving us from having our house covered in pink or blue crap.) And if you’re wondering, this will be our ONLY kid. (Everyone says I will change my mind about that, and I say they have no idea just how stubborn I am or how determined we are to still be able to do fun (and expensive) things!) I’m keeping it off Facebook as long as humanly possible (possibly until there is actually a tiny human living in my house with me) which is a unique challenge in and of itself.

Although, we are having trouble thinking of names…so suggestions are welcome! 

2 notes


My Grandpa used to live in Yarnell, AZ. It’s one of those tiny towns no one has ever heard of. Even most people from Arizona had never heard of it before today. Now that 19 firefighters have died fighting a wildfire there, I guess everyone will know where it is. Or was, probably, by the time the fire is done. I have a few friends that are firefighters, and they all seem just so shocked and saddened by the loss - to lose so many all at once is just too much to process right now. Especially knowing that the fire is not anywhere close to being out. My Facebook feed is full of shout outs to the fallen, and it’s all just so sad and scary to think about.

Grandpa loved Yarnell. He liked that it was off the beaten path. He had a big chunk of land that he filled with fruit trees and vegetable gardens. He had a couple of horses, a bunch of chickens, and some incredibly grouchy geese that used to chase us around when we were kids. It was a fun place to visit. We dragged him kicking and screaming from the house a few years ago when it got to be too much for him to take care of and he was too stubborn to admit that we were right. He passed away last summer, and I’m glad that he wasn’t around to see the place burn down. I’ve been looking at the maps all morning, and I just don’t think there’s any way that his house is still there. It looks like it would have been right in the path of the fire. I suppose we won’t know for sure until the fire is contained and the maps get more accurate. I suppose it doesn’t really matter. It wasn’t his house anymore anyway.

The news has been telling the story of a guy with three classic cars in Yarnell. He only had time to hitch one of them to a trailer before the fire was so close that they had to drive through thick smoke to safety. They could feel the heat of the fire as they drove away, knowing that everything they left behind was going up in flames. They’re lucky - a few more minutes and they likely would not have made it out.

Now I sit here in my new house that sits a few houses away from the edge of a desert preserve and think that, well, maybe this isn’t the best spot to be during fire season. We had a lot of rain this spring, so there’s a lot of vegetation out there - more than usual - and it’s just dying out as it gets hotter and hotter. (It hit 120 in the shade at my house on Friday.) So then I look around and think about what I would grab if there was a fire out there. There’s only one road out, so I’d have to act fast, or we could easily be surrounded by a blaze. The dogs of course - they’d sit in the back seat and watch while I shoved stuff into the trunk. I’d take our computers - especially now that we have so many family photos stored on the hard drives. Some important papers - passports, birth certificates, and such. But then what? My box of letters from my Grandma from when I was a kid? Clothes? The laundry basket would probably be the most efficient - assuming I hadn’t done laundry recently, it would be sure to have our favorite clothes in it. What else? What fits in a car that can’t be replaced?

What would you grab if you had only minutes to pack up your life before you had to get the heck out of dodge?

4 notes

The background check bill didn’t pass…

I don’t know about you, but it makes me mad when something that is so well supported by the public doesn’t happen in Congress, and I’m guessing that I’m not the only one who feels that way.

So, if you live in AZ (like I do) and you wanted that background check bill to pass, not so that guns would be illegal, but just so that people would have to be more responsible about buying and selling them, then write to Senator Jeff Flake, who voted against it, and tell him how disappointed you are. I’ll even make it easy for you. Just click this link:, fill out the form and click send. That’s it! (If, on the other hand, you’re happy it failed, I suppose you could write him and thank him. More power to you.) 

For the record, McCain voted for the bill. So there’s that…and for my friends in WA, MA, and CA - rest easy, your Senators voted to support it.

Not sure how your Senator voted? Check this handy dandy little list out:

Mad about how they voted? Write to them! If you don’t participate in the process, you have no right to complain about it.

Filed under I posted this on Facebook too Let the unfriending begin!

6 notes

I’ve been going on walkabout in the desert with my dogs a lot lately…trying to take advantage of the nice weather before summer hits and I pretend that there isn’t a desert at the end of my street for a few months. I try to remember to take pictures of the cool stuff I see - even if it is just with my iPhone’s camera.

So, here are some of my favorites from the past few days. (Picture of my dog thrown in there so you get a sense of scale for how giant these Saguaros are!)

6 notes

The past couple days in Seattle have been amazing and, at the same time, hard.

You see, I am so very lucky because I have an amazing group of friends who, even when we haven’t seen each other for over a year, it feels like no time has passed. We fall right back into the rhythm of our friendships and conversation. It’s just so easy.

This time the topics have been a bit heavier than usual - because some conversations are just too hard to have over the phone and some things are inappropriate to share via email.

So there have been some tears and sadness mixed in with the usual laughter. A friend has died, a few lost beloved pets, and oh yeah, I lost a baby. Jobs have changed and people have moved away and couples have broken up and others are engaged and someone’s four year old is apparently a truly horrible child to be around.

Oh, and there has also been really delicious food and beer. So there’s that. I have three more days here. They’ll probably go by way too fast.

1 note

How Vacations Affect Your Happiness

Researchers from the Netherlands set out to measure the effect that vacations have on overall happiness and how long it lasts. The study showed that the largest boost in happiness comes from the simple act of planning a vacation. In the study, the effect of vacation anticipation boosted happiness for eight weeks. After the vacation, happiness quickly dropped back to baseline levels for most people.

I think this means that I need to start talking about my trip to the beach house in Mexico in April as soon as I get back from Seattle on Monday… So, you know, you have that to look forward to…